Is there anything called ‘happy aging’? Really? ! Can the words aging and happiness go together at all? Read on to find out what the one simple key to aging happily is!
Age affects individuals differently.
My aunt, all of 80 years old, sure is amazing! She is sprightly, alert, and can engage in interesting conversation on a variety of topics. She hosts a popular podcast on mental health and is super active on Facebook where she has a huge fanbase. She took to the internet easily, learning quickly how useful it could be for her research in Kannada literature. “I am thrilled to share my experiences with thousands of people! I could not have imagined this just a decade ago” she smiles, tying back her all-silver hair into a knot.
On the other hand, my friend’s mother, also 80, barely manages to make a phone call on her basic phone. She is confined to moving around within her house, and hardly interacts with anyone except family members.
The reality of how age affects individuals differently became even clearer when I watched a viral video of yesteryear actress Vyjayantimala Bali dancing on her (supposedly) 90th birthday to a Tamil song. A twinkle in her eye, graceful, elegant, and perfect in her poses and steps, Vyjayantimala is a delight to watch. There is so much engagement with life, and with her art. Her zest to live with vitality, to express, to still put herself out there to perform to the best of her ability is there for everyone to see. Her attitude amazes and inspires!
What is the differentiating factor?
What makes some people give up on life just in their sixties, becoming disinterested and indifferent, while some others enjoy life to their best, living each day joyfully and purposefully well into their nineties and even longer? What makes some people complain about their health, finances and everything else while some others of the same age with similar issues hardly grumble! The findings of some research papers are interesting.
Life Satisfaction! We ourselves are the judges.
One of the most critical aspects of successful aging according to many studies is one’s own perception of ‘life satisfaction’. How a person rates his/her level of satisfaction or contentment in life with regard to a few basic aspects can help predict how happily a person will age. Higher the perceived level of satisfaction in life, the happier we are as we age.
Surprisingly ‘life satisfaction’ is not a parameter measured by external standards set by researchers, rather it is defined as “a person’s quality of life according to his/her own chosen criteria”. This means that as we age, what is important is how satisfied WE are with life, based on our own perception of the different areas of life that are important to us like health, family, finances, relationships and activity levels! It is not important that Mr. A is not as wealthy, healthy or socially connected as his neighbor Mrs. B. What matters is what Mr. A feels/thinks about HIS situation.
We need to do what will give US the sense of contentment that translates to feeling ‘I am satisfied with my life’ and thus age happily! This is the one simple key !! We need to train ourselves to have a realistic view of life and check the ‘satisfied’ box more often.
‘Perception of Aging’ also matters
An interesting finding was that a positive perception of aging, as also a positive outlook towards the future and life in general enhanced life satisfaction. It was found that the elderly did not need anything more than basic comfort to make themselves feel good. They did not need luxuries and did not rate material things highly. When the seniors believed that they had higher levels of activity, financial independence, friendships, and social circles, they rated themselves as happy.
If they ‘thought’ they were happy, they were! It didn’t matter whether they met any externally set health, social and finance parameters.
There is a huge lesson in this, especially for those whose definition of success and happiness comes from comparisons and external validations. Also for those to whom ‘contentment’ may be a strange feeling!
Increasing numbers of seniors
By 2050, the number of elderly people in India is expected to be 350 million. In Indian culture, to a great extent, the sons and daughters take care of the parents and the elderly in the family. Consequently, this automatically means that an even larger number of relatively young family members will be involved in, and will invest their time, money, and effort in the care of this large number of aging people.
When the seniors are healthy, independent and can actively help in any way they can, it makes a lot of difference to the caretakers. It is also a great relief to be around seniors who sport a cheerful, positive attitude rather than a sad, negative attitude for whatever reason. What then are the factors that determine happiness in the elderly?
What can we do for the elderly?
As caretakers, what can we do to ensure that our seniors have an optimistic and positive attitude towards the future?
1. Make sure they stay active, useful and relevant by instilling confidence in them and letting them live independently for as long as they can. 2. Encourage them to explore opportunities to be part of active hobby clubs or spiritual communities with common interests. 3. Spend time to talk to them and make them part of our activities when possible. 4. Encourage the kids in the family to talk to them and more importantly, listen to what they have to share. 5. Facilitate actively so they do and enjoy what keeps them happy. 6. Remind them, if required, of the wonders of an ‘attitude of gratitude’.
Maintaining a youthful psychological profile for ourselves!
Since ageing is inevitable for every one of us, what can WE do to retain a youthful psychological profile?
It is essential to take care of our bodies, minds and spirits. This can be done only on an individual level, no one else can workout for you nor smile for you or meditate for you 🙂 !
Being playful, light in our Being and cultivating an attitude of thankfulness keeps us positive. Doing more health-giving and purposeful activities that we enjoy – one way to recognise this is to check whether we are smiling when we are doing that activity – keeps us enthusiastic, alert and joy-filled.
To quote Mark Twain “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” 🙂
It is never too late !
After I insisted that she try every day, my mother, at 78, was astonished that she could again climb up the stairs after a decade-long break. She makes sure to practise her music daily and eagerly orders and enjoys her favorite dishes from her caterer. The team lead for our recent 4-day forest hike was a 65-year-old with remarkable agility and stamina. These people, including Vyjayantimala and my aunt, are doing what keeps them active and happy.
Ageing happily is scientifically proven to be a matter of the mind over matter.
What are you doing to feel comfortable as you age? What are your thoughts about ageing happily ? Do share in the comments below!
