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Attitude

Money can't buy peace, health or happiness
Mind MattersPersonal GrowthWellness

There’s Loads of Money now, But…Where’s the Happiness ?(Part 1)

by Roopa
written by Roopa

Money = Happiness. This is what most people think. So if you have a lot of money, are you naturally happy? To extend, the richer one is, the happier he/she must be, but is this true really? Apparently not. When a friend, who by any standards can be called wealthy, broke down and wept, stating he has neither happiness nor peace, it made me wonder where the void in his life is. Truth is, those with plenty of money may not be happy at all. In fact, they may be terribly unhappy with no peace of mind or joy in their lives.

Riches, Money and Happiness: Related?

How nice it would be to shop for 24 kgs of happiness, 18 liters of peace and 63 tons of health!

It is common belief that being financially well off is a pre-requisite to happiness, whatever the definition of happiness may be. True, financial adequacy and stability ensures a certain standard of living, comfort and security essential to human well-being. However, no amount of money can ensure peace of mind or joy. This is because wealth needs to be balanced with, and connected to other aspects of well-being to lead to happiness. Far from being happy, wealthy people may suffer from physical illnesses as well as mental ones such as depression, anxiety and other stress-related issues.

The other aspects of well-being are equally important

Well-being, by definition includes many aspects of life, of which financial wellness is just one. The others are physical, professional, mental (emotional), spiritual and social wellness. When we focus on building only one aspect of our life and neglect developing the others, at some point we end up not feeling good at all. The absence in the other areas of our lives is felt deeply. A person who has spent most of his life in the pursuit of money, neglecting the other equally important aspects of life, might have problems in his relationships, spiritual growth or physical health.

Feeling low despite a fat bank balance? Check these for yourself !

The Physical Aspect : How fit and healthy are you? Are you energetic or tired during the day? Do you fall sick frequently or rarely? Are you a sound sleeper? Do you take care of your health with any regular exercise/fitness/yoga routine that includes aerobic, strength & flexibility training? If the answer is no, not yet; remember it is never too late to start something good for yourself. “Health is Wealth” is true, today and always.

One can always take up any form of fitness from the multitude of options available. Physical health affects mental health greatly. A healthy mind resides more easily in a healthy body. In fact, physical activity is a prescription for mental conditions like depression. Remember, money can never buy health.

“Happiness is the highest form of health” – Dalai Lama

The Mental/Emotional Aspect : How often do you smile or laugh in a day? Can you say that your mind is often in the present? Are your thoughts always in the past or the future? Do you worry a lot? Is stress a constant companion or can you respond to difficult situations and changes in a calm rational way? Are your thoughts mostly unproductive (negative) ones or productive (positive) ones that help you grow into a better version of yourself? The answers to these questions determine your mental health status. If you are feeling low most times and can find no joy in your daily life, you need to seek professional help. Do not hesitate.

The Professional Aspect: Does the work you are engaged in or spend most of your time at give you reasonable satisfaction? What is your motivation to work? Do you find yourself mostly wishing you were doing something else? Or do you have a sense of pride in what you do, and how you contribute to the world at large with your work? The state of our minds and level of involvement in our profession can elevate or depress us. Either find your purpose in what you are doing or consider a change to find your purpose elsewhere.

People are more important than money or things – Randy Pausch

Social Aspect: Do you have some dependable, trustworthy friends and colleagues who make you feel loved, wanted and valued? Do your relationships make you feel safe and secure? Is your home environment pleasant and loving? Are there people around you that will help you out when the need arises? Are you in turn a person that supports, helps and are a true friend to other people including your family, your spouse?

We humans are social beings and do not do well in isolation. Hence we need to be with family and friends, making connections with people at work and elsewhere. If there is a deficit in this area, you need to work on developing and keeping relationships by changing your attitudes and habits. Although money can attract people around you, it cannot help form deep relationships.

“Discard who you are not ” – Deepak Chopra

Spiritual Aspect: Do you have Inner Peace? A clear sense of values? Is there a Higher Purpose in your life? Is ‘giving’ more joyful than receiving? Do you feel an interconnectedness with Nature? With the Universe? Are you connected with the Divine? Do you have faith that your life is heading the way it is meant to? Is there a quest to find out “Who am I?” Can you find solace in prayer and meditation?

Developing and recognizing an understanding of something beyond oneself leads to purposeful, higher levels of living. It leads to an understanding of life, what stage we are at, and where we are meant to go.

How can one take charge and develop these aspects of well being? Can we be more aware of what is happening within us and take progressive measures? What attitude changes will help us grow? Delve Deeper !!

Do watch out for the next part of this post !!!

What kind of connection do you have with wealth? With well-being? Do write your thoughts about anything in this post that you connected with in the comments section.

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Mind MattersPersonal GrowthWellnessYOGA

The true essence of Yoga lies beyond 108 Surya Namaskars

by Roopa
written by Roopa

On International Yoga Day, June 21st, the commonest activity we see all around is the announcement of 108 Suryanamaskar ‘challenges’! Yes, performing that many Suryanamaskars (Sun Salutation sequences) at a stretch requires stamina and long-term practise. Such publicity, however, gives a layperson the impression that Yoga is perhaps about doing a certain number of Suryanamaskars! The essence of Yoga, however, lies beyond physical practises.

Going beyond Sun Salutations in Yoga

Yoga is much more than practicing or performing Suryanamaskars. Indeed the physical or exercise aspect of Yoga finds only a brief mention in the Patanjali Yogasutras as well as in the Hatha Yoga Pradipika, both revered texts of Yoga. Traditional yogic practices are all directed towards finding the calmness and stillness required to sit and meditate. These practises encompass a) Pranayama which includes breathing in a variety of ways to energize, balance or calm the mind and body b) full body relaxation techniques, c) mindfulness practices like chanting & japa d) meditation, the ultimate goal of yogis and d) Yoga Nidra which rejuvenates the mind and body. Yoga thus includes practises that combine mental, physical, spiritual, emotional, and ethical aspects of a human being.

The different limbs of Yoga !

A typical yoga class

Only a portion of an hour-long yoga class by a good teacher is directed to physical postures or asana practise. Yes, the practise of Surya Namaskars is a part of the class, depending on what the teacher wants the student to do on that particular day. The rest of the class is used to direct the students’ awareness to their inner self, to find a balance in their emotions and responses with the tools described above.

Finding Equanimity

In Chapter 2, verse 48 of the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna says that Yoga is finding ‘equanimity’. “Samatvam Yogah Uchyathe”. This relates to many aspects of life.

For example, it takes time and maturity to treat success and failure, acceptance and rejection with equal composure. In the meantime, we can turn inward to recognise and celebrate our Divine side. Being able to feel One with Nature, and recognizing our Oneness with the Universe can make a great difference to our attitude to life, our relationships, our words and our actions. This is the basic aspiration of a Yoga practitioner.

While doing 108 Suryanamaskars is definitely a physical feat worthy of admiration, consistent and sincere practise of all the limbs of Yoga by many can lead to a peaceful and joyful society.

The real test is off the mat

While the asana or physical practise is essential to make our bodies strong enough to be able to sit still for long periods of time, finding true ‘balance’ needs an inner and outer awareness that should hold strong in all our interactions off the mat, outside the yoga class as well.

Do share your experiences with Yoga practise in the comments section below 🙂 ! What part of your practise do you find challenging/easy ?

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Image depicting 5 steps to save Earth
Earth ConnectionEarth MattersMind MattersWellness

Desperate Need of the Hour-Earth Warriors

by Roopa
written by Roopa

Today is World Earth Day.
The theme this year is Planet & Plastics.
This is not a day for somebody else outside or ‘others’.
You, Me and Everyone else can live ONLY on this planet.
We have nowhere else to live.
Hence it is for You, Me and Everyone else individually as well as collectively to keep our ‘home’, our beautiful planet Earth liveable, clean and available for ourselves and our future generations.
Our lives and well-being are deeply connected with nature and unless we wake up at least now and make amends, we will have conditions worse than just heat waves, floods, cyclones and typhoons.

What is it that makes humans stupid enough to exploit and destroy their very home and imagine that they are the most intelligent of all creatures? I find it difficult to fathom this misunderstanding.

Till our last breath on Earth, we must ….

  1. Understand and imbibe how we depend completely on soil, trees, air, water and the natural world for our survival.
  2. Treat ALL these resources – air, water, soil, trees, the forests, the entire living world around us – with utmost loving, respectful care.

5 Simple Action Steps, Wherever on Earth you are…

  1. Use water mindfully, and as carefully as possible. Reuse water where possible. Every time I need to wash vegetables, fruits and grains, I put a bucket under the tap and feed this water  to some plants.
  2. Carry your own reusable bags with you and never accept plastic covers from any vendor whether in a mall or a local vegetable/fruit market. I keep foldable, reusable cloth bags in my vehicles and make sure my husband carries them in his car always.
  3. Recycle ALL plastic and recyclable items. Use the services of such service providers. Find such services close to you. I segregate waste and give out trash just once a month because I recycle or compost almost everything we use. One such provider – https://www.bintix.com/
  4. Carry your OWN water bottle from home wherever you go. This should become a HABIT. Whether you are attending a party or just going shopping, just making sure you drink from your own reusable bottle is going to make a great deal of difference to your plastic consumption. We ALWAYS carry our own water bottle whenever we step out of our house.
  5. ALL the organic waste needs to be composted. Simple small composting bins will take care of the composting process wherever we live. This compost can be used to grow our own tomatoes, basil or mint in small pots at home. Children learn to enjoy taking care of plants and learn a lot. EVERYTHING organic in my home is composted and used in our garden to grow our own vegetables and fruits.

What YOU DO Will Make A Difference!

Of what use is education and money if we do not have a planet to live on, if our kids have to struggle to breathe and get drinking water and our planet is destroyed?

We MUST make sure ALL children learn to make a habit of the 5 simple steps listed above.

If you think ‘someone else’ is going to save the planet for you so that you can live happily, you are terribly terribly mistaken.

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FITNESSMind MattersWellness

Lose weight quickly with this one movement!

by Roopa
written by Roopa

Many people assume that practicing Yoga may not help them lose weight because of the slower and more purposeful movements,. This is far from the truth. You can lose weight with just this one movement !

This movement in Yoga, one from the group called Greeva Sanchalana, is probably the one you need to practise to lose weight.

It is a simple neck movement really! Whenever a plate of food is offered to you or is in front of you, you just make the following movements in the sequence given below. Make sure to do it mindfully and with a smile 🙂

  1. Take a deep inhale, and exhale completely.
  2. Inhale and as you exhale, move your head to the right.
  3. Inhale and as you exhale, move your head to the left.
  4. Repeat the above movement briskly and whoever offered you the food will quickly get the message and take the plate away.
  5. If you do this movement regularly enough when you are tempted to eat more that you should, you are sure to lose weight in a surprisingly short time.
  6. 🙂 🙂

Yes ! This simple movement that indicates ‘NO’ is the movement most overweight people need to do !

The ONE reason that leads to weight gain and obesity is simply OVER EATING. That is all there is to it.

People find it difficult to say No to food – for whatever reasons. It is easy to just give in to food cravings and keep eating even though our bodies as adults need only moderate amounts of food, not more than once, twice or max thrice a day, to keep us energetic.

Over a period of time, eating larger quantities becomes a habit. With a sedentary lifestyle, this excess consumed food piles up and sits in the body as fat. Food that should nourish us then becomes a danger! Sad, isn’t it? Thus, awareness of how much we eat at every single meal is essential!

You might be surprised to know this – food is an addiction. Yes. It is. Just like any other undesirable addiction. Our minds have to be strong to overcome it.

What food is. And how you can lose weight by actually eating.

Food is meant to nourish us, give us energy and keep us healthy physically and mentally. Food uplifts us, keeps us active and assists in our longevity. After we eat we must feel energetic, not dull and lethargic. Eating should be a mindful, joyful experience for health and not just to satisfy and appease the 2 inches of taste buds on the tongue.

When we respect ourselves enough, we are particular about what we put into our bodies through our mouths and how much we eat. Whatever we eat must have enough Prana (vital energy in the form of absorbable, fresh nutrients) to replenish our bodies and minds. Examples of such Prana-filled food are – all fresh fruits & vegetables, sprouts, whole grains, millets, seeds, and pulses.

We must use our common sense and eat both raw food (salads) as well as cooked/baked/steamed food. When we eat stuff that is stale or unhealthy, it destroys our health as these have no Prana in them. Instead of healing and nourishing, unhealthy foods damage our organs. Such so-called ‘food’ must be avoided completely.

When you eat real food, it is unlikely that you will overeat because both the mind and body feel satisfied with the plentiful nutrients! So eating only good food will actually help one lose weight.

The fact is that when our body gets ALL the nutrition it needs from real food, we will be content and the tendency to over eat reduces in just a matter of days! We need to be committed to our goal to lose weight and get healthy.

Be firm and learn to say NO to food when:

  1. You have eaten within the past 4 hours
  2. You are mostly inactive physically
  3. You know the food you are offered/eating is not really ‘food’
  4. It is past 7 pm (say yes to water instead!).
  5. The food is stale, has no nutrients or is only going to satisfy your tongue!

You are definitely worth the time and effort to stay healthy for your own sake !

(Of course, diabetics and people with other diseases need to join guided weight loss programs)

Do write in to say what you feel about this post… and also to share your stories of how you overcome the tendency to overeat.

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Top Youthful Living TipsWellness

One simple key to happy aging!

by Roopa
written by Roopa

Is there anything called ‘happy aging’? Really? ! Can the words aging and happiness go together at all? Read on to find out what the one simple key to aging happily is!

Age affects individuals differently.

My aunt, all of 80 years old, sure is amazing! She is sprightly, alert, and can engage in interesting conversation on a variety of topics. She hosts a popular podcast on mental health and is super active on Facebook where she has a huge fanbase. She took to the internet easily, learning quickly how useful it could be for her research in Kannada literature. “I am thrilled to share my experiences with thousands of people! I could not have imagined this just a decade ago” she smiles, tying back her all-silver hair into a knot.

On the other hand, my friend’s mother, also 80, barely manages to make a phone call on her basic phone. She is confined to moving around within her house, and hardly interacts with anyone except family members.

The reality of how age affects individuals differently became even clearer when I watched a viral video of yesteryear actress Vyjayantimala Bali dancing on her (supposedly) 90th birthday to a Tamil song. A twinkle in her eye, graceful, elegant, and perfect in her poses and steps, Vyjayantimala is a delight to watch. There is so much engagement with life, and with her art. Her zest to live with vitality, to express, to still put herself out there to perform to the best of her ability is there for everyone to see. Her attitude amazes and inspires!

What is the differentiating factor?

What makes some people give up on life just in their sixties, becoming disinterested and indifferent, while some others enjoy life to their best, living each day joyfully and purposefully well into their nineties and even longer? What makes some people complain about their health, finances and everything else while some others of the same age with similar issues hardly grumble! The findings of some research papers are interesting.

Life Satisfaction! We ourselves are the judges.

One of the most critical aspects of successful aging according to many studies is one’s own perception of ‘life satisfaction’. How a person rates his/her level of satisfaction or contentment in life with regard to a few basic aspects can help predict how happily a person will age. Higher the perceived level of satisfaction in life, the happier we are as we age.

Surprisingly ‘life satisfaction’ is not a parameter measured by external standards set by researchers, rather it is defined as “a person’s quality of life according to his/her own chosen criteria”.  This means that as we age, what is important is how satisfied WE are with life, based on our own perception of the different areas of life that are important to us like health, family, finances, relationships and activity levels! It is not important that Mr. A is not as wealthy, healthy or socially connected as his neighbor Mrs. B. What matters is what Mr. A feels/thinks about HIS situation.

We need to do what will give US the sense of contentment that translates to feeling ‘I am satisfied with my life’ and thus age happily! This is the one simple key !! We need to train ourselves to have a realistic view of life and check the ‘satisfied’ box more often.

‘Perception of Aging’ also matters

An interesting finding was that a positive perception of aging, as also a positive outlook towards the future and life in general enhanced life satisfaction. It was found that the elderly did not need anything more than basic comfort to make themselves feel good. They did not need luxuries and did not rate material things highly. When the seniors believed that they had higher levels of activity, financial independence, friendships, and social circles, they rated themselves as happy.

If they ‘thought’ they were happy, they were! It didn’t matter whether they met any externally set health, social and finance parameters.

There is a huge lesson in this, especially for those whose definition of success and happiness comes from comparisons and external validations. Also for those to whom ‘contentment’ may be a strange feeling!

Increasing numbers of seniors

By 2050, the number of elderly people in India is expected to be 350 million. In Indian culture, to a great extent, the sons and daughters take care of the parents and the elderly in the family. Consequently, this automatically means that an even larger number of relatively young family members will be involved in, and will invest their time, money, and effort in the care of this large number of aging people.

When the seniors are healthy, independent and can actively help in any way they can, it makes a lot of difference to the caretakers. It is also a great relief to be around seniors who sport a cheerful, positive attitude rather than a sad, negative attitude for whatever reason. What then are the factors that determine happiness in the elderly?

What can we do for the elderly?

As caretakers, what can we do to ensure that our seniors have an optimistic and positive attitude towards the future?

1. Make sure they stay active, useful and relevant by instilling confidence in them and letting them live independently for as long as they can. 2. Encourage them to explore opportunities to be part of active hobby clubs or spiritual communities with common interests. 3. Spend time to talk to them and make them part of our activities when possible. 4. Encourage the kids in the family to talk to them and more importantly, listen to what they have to share. 5. Facilitate actively so they do and enjoy what keeps them happy. 6. Remind them, if required, of the wonders of an ‘attitude of gratitude’.

Maintaining a youthful psychological profile for ourselves!

Since ageing is inevitable for every one of us, what can WE do to retain a youthful psychological profile?

It is essential to take care of our bodies, minds and spirits. This can be done only on an individual level, no one else can workout for you nor smile for you or meditate for you 🙂 !

Being playful, light in our Being and cultivating an attitude of thankfulness keeps us positive. Doing more health-giving and purposeful activities that we enjoy – one way to recognise this is to check whether we are smiling when we are doing that activity – keeps us enthusiastic, alert and joy-filled.

To quote Mark Twain “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” 🙂

It is never too late ! 

After I insisted that she try every day, my mother, at 78, was astonished that she could again climb up the stairs after a decade-long break. She makes sure to practise her music daily and eagerly orders and enjoys her favorite dishes from her caterer.  The team lead for our recent 4-day forest hike was a 65-year-old with remarkable agility and stamina. These people, including Vyjayantimala and my aunt, are doing what keeps them active and happy.

Ageing happily is scientifically proven to be a matter of the mind over matter.

What are you doing to feel comfortable as you age? What are your thoughts about ageing happily ? Do share in the comments below!

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Book Reviews

Gentle writing that imparts great lessons. REMAINS OF THE DAY by Kazuo ISHIGURO

by Roopa
written by Roopa

Sometimes the most important lessons are learnt too late in life and all one can do is make the best of it after realization dawns. This novel is set in Darlington Hall, a manor house in Oxford, England. The story revolves around the happenings in the Hall where Stevens, the narrator of the story, is the absolutely-dedicated-to-his-job butler. So engrossed is he to be the ultimate professional butler that sadly, he quite forgets to be human.

This book takes one to a different world. With absolutely beautiful, gently flowing, subtle writing Ishiguro points out the desperation and emptiness that follows if your entire identity is so derived from your profession that you hold back and let go of what truly matters when it’s within your grasp – in this case, the love of a fine woman.

The characterization is superb and we get to know the players through Stevens’ eyes. This world is slow, calm, and peaceful, with people who are apparently elegant and mature with ‘oh so dignified restraint’. Stevens takes a break to visit Miss Kenton, the woman whose feelings for him remained coldly unreciprocated much to her distress. The journey and the people he meets enroute makes him realise just how much has passed him by.

Our choice of the causes we pursue and what we neglect as a result of that choice determines our happiness. A misspent life with wrong choices can only make one nostalgic and teary when it is too late to tread a better track.

This book is a brilliant take on wrong priorities and false standards that thwart life… leaving one to contemplate on the remains. A great fiction book that makes one think! Also a highly acclaimed movie. Definitely a must-read!

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Friendship
Mind MattersWellness

The Rights of Friendship

by Roopa
written by Roopa
Friendship makes our lives fun!

We are a group of 10 college friends who have been in touch with each other for the past 35 years. We meet once a year at one of our homes and we look forward to this day with great excitement! It is usually a mid–morning to evening affair with lunch served by the host. It takes weeks of planning, sometimes even months, if one of them has plans to visit India. It has been long since all ten of us met together because four live abroad. 

Still, for those of us who are able to make it, it is a day filled with lots of laughter, teasing, sharing, and caring.  We are all in the early 50’s, having graduated together from a women’s college. For each other though, we are just 17 years old, the same age we were when we all met. Many of our kids are married, a few in our group are grandmoms as well, but anyone who watches our banter would wonder if we are even grown-ups!  We are fortunate to be happy, enthusiastic people with interesting stories to share.

There is usually this one friend Ms. M, who claims to be ‘too busy at work’ and cannot make the time to meet, though she lives in the same city. This time too when she said she might not be able to make it for the get-together, feisty Ms. R would not hear of it. “We meet once a year and you are saying you are going to miss it? What is wrong with you? You have to come and that is an order “, she declared.

What another friend said to this is worth sharing and it sealed the deal. She said – Dosti ke haq ke liya ladna mohabbat hai.

 Translated it means – “To fight for your rights in friendship ….is love.”

It is all right in friendships to step up and insist that our friends make the time to meet and spend time together. To reminisce about good times further creates beautiful memories. When we laugh and listen to each other as we share our highs and lows with old friends, we feel valued and cared for. We learn to appreciate each other even more for what we have grown to become. Time just flies by as we discuss our hobbies and share tips on mindfulness, health and many other topics.

By being a little more courageous and proactive in our friendships, we show that we care. We must do what is good for the other, not just for ourselves. Simple gestures like picking up the phone and calling friends to wish them on their birthdays or anniversaries rather than sending them emojis on WhatsApp is a wonderful way of showing love. It brings a lot of positivity to both giver and receiver.

Friendship also means that we do not gossip about each other ever, we respect each other’s belief systems and sensitivities. We are empathetic and understanding if anyone has any worries.  We are allowed to use humour to brush off anything that is being taken more seriously than it should be.

We need to invest time and effort to enjoy our friendships and keep them lively and strong. The look in a friend’s eyes and the energy (or lack of it) in their voice conveys more than words on text messages ever would, if we actually look into their eyes and listen to their voices. Sadly, these days friendships are mostly over phone screens. 

Humans only need food, water, air and shelter to survive. But as C.S. Lewis said “Friendship has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”

This article was originally published in The Hindu Sunday Magazine Open Page on November 12th 2023. The link is below:

https://www.thehindu.com/opinion/open-page/the-rights-of-friendship/article67525282.ece

What feelings does this post bring to you? How do you keep your friendships alive and strong?

What do you wish you should have done to retain a friendship that you lost ?

Do share in the comments below ! :))

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Mind MattersWellness

Creative Visualization to bring your mind back into focus

by Roopa
written by Roopa

Here are 4 simple, fun and effective creative visualization techniques to help you get back into focus when your wandering mind thinks of wasteful thoughts and dwells on emotions that are not helpful to you.

What is Creative Visualization?

Creating mental images and movies purposefully in our minds and then intentionally transforming them in ways that benefit our feelings positively is Creative Visualization. It could provide the ‘change of scene’ that you strongly need, or it could be used to provide a resolution to your doubts and questions. You can do it as a rehearsal for what you want to achieve. Most importantly, it can provide that mental space where you can be productive, positive, and focused on doing what needs to be done. This post is about how to create a space away from distraction using creative visualization.

creative visualization benefits

Images are powerful things. So are feelings and emotions. Images have the power to alter feelings and behaviour. You can test this on yourself right now.

Try this visualization!

Do This – Think of a laughing, happy small child running and playing on a lovely beach. She shrieks with joy at the water under her feet. She claps her hands, runs and laughs even more. It is a beautiful scene.

Close your eyes and softly soak in these images for a mere half minute.

Do you know that you yourself have a smile on your face? 🙂

Do This – Think of a hospital scene that is chaotic. There has been a disaster and the hospital is full of wounded, bloodied people. Ambulances are speeding in and out , sirens wailing. Children are crying and shouting in pain. Mothers are running around looking for their kids. The hospital staff are rushing about getting the victims onto stretchers. Men are dazed and stumbling about confused. Oh the scenes, the sounds, the noises.

Close your eyes and soak in these images for half a minute.

Your heart is beating faster and your breathing is probably erratic.

Open your eyes and relax. Calm yourself. This is all in your head. Around you, everything is as it is.

This is the power of visualization!!!

Use this power to generate headspace for yourself

We may feel really strongly about something or someone, maybe in unpleasant ways. May be there is a problem we are facing, or a worry that is gnawing at us. When things do not go our way and the outcomes are different from what we expect, those feelings of stress and frustration are difficult to get rid of. Sometimes these negative, unhelpful thoughts, worries or concerns may overpower us and those images, those strong feelings may be both disturbing and disabling us.

Maybe they recur so often, it is difficult to concentrate. The same thoughts run over and over, the same worries come back again and again. We want to focus but those feelings are too intense and we are unable to do anything about them.

Consequently, this results in a waste of time and energy, leading to further frustration, affecting our emotional health and well-being.

Whether or not you are used to visualization techniques, these simple, quick ways will help you develop a sense of calmness and peace. An important characteristic of us humans, and we stand apart from other creatures in this regard, is our ability to imagine and visualize. So these can be done by anyone. Keep your eyes open or closed, whatever works for you.

Let’s do it!

A prerequisite before you start this exercise is to clearly define what/who it is that is bothering you. Put your concern into a single word or image if possible. If not, use a phrase that describes the situation. For example, if it is a colleague that is the cause of your stress, you can just visualize that colleague. If it is your wife’s health, you can visualize the specific words relating to her health. If it is a business problem, use a word that sums up what the problem is. If it is your daughter’s behaviour, be specific what behaviour is troubling you.

These techniques only provide you ways to the required headspace to work effectively despite the presence of that specific problem. They are not going to give ‘solutions’ to your problems; if through the resultant relief and calmness, you do come up with a solution, then that would be a great bonus. Enjoy these visualizations as you do them.

Bubble it awayyy!

The nasty things your boss (or anyone else) said is bothering you. His image and voice are persistent in your mind. You are unable to work though you have a presentation coming up in the next 2 hours. You really need to focus.

Do This – Sit up straight. Take a deep breath. Get a clear picture of your boss (or anyone else) in your mind. Now, whatever that picture is, put it in a huge, transparent, floating bubble. Yes, just like that. See it clearly now, that gigantic bubble with your ‘problem’ in it. There’s your boss (or any other problem in your mind that you put out as a word) just floating around. Play around with it. Your boss or your problem is trapped in that giant bubble. Enjoy it.

Now fix that image firmly in your mind, use your lips and blow that bubble away. Slowly and steadily. Blow on it, visualize it floating away, growing smaller and smaller as it moves away from you. Yes, take your time. Keep blowing at it till it goes far far away, getting smaller and smaller until….60 seconds later, you can no longer see it. It is gone. Completely out of sight. Leave it there.

Open your eyes. Even without you being aware, your breathing would be deeper and you feel calmer. Use this new space to be productive and at peace.

This exercise can be repeated as many times as you need to. With practise you will need lesser time to feel calm and focused.

Cage it, Shrink it !

Visualize your issue/concern in a cage, unable to get out. Keep it there, trap it. Now shrink that cage in your mind. Visualize it shrinking, and then shrink it some more. It is just a dot now. A mere dot. Ha! Just let it remain there, a dot. With a smile, get going on with whatever needs to be done without letting any issue weigh your mind down.

Let the tiger eat it up!

This is a fun one. So there’s your problem, out in the open, just lying there. Visualize a big, majestic tiger striding in there, gobbling up your ‘problem’. He fills his belly with it and simply walks away, maybe with a wink ! Take your time with this visualization and make it enjoyable! You have creatively made the problem disappear to give you the space you need.

Magnify it and let it just pop!

Visualize your ‘problem’ as a word, increasing in size. It grows and grows and grows. And then, pop ! It bursts and no longer exists. It’s nowhere to be seen. With that gone, use your time to put out your best efforts.

Take charge and rock your situation.

This is a visualization not just for the present but also for the future. Visualize yourself as being absolutely in charge of any problematic situation. See yourself as tackling the problem confidently. Even if the solution is unclear and the path is vague at this moment, just visualize yourself being in control. Focus on that image in all detail – the look on your face, the attire you are in, your posture, your voice as you speak, the environment. Internalize it all. Then get back to work on whatever needs to be done. This is a basic visualization that top athletes and achievers use.

Enjoy this process – be creative!

Pick any of the techniques I have suggested here that appeals to you. Yes! try them. Let me know what worked for you 🙂 !

Be creative and make your own visualizations! Create your own movies. Have fun! Remember that visualization can be very positive and can be used to magnify positive feelings as well. In fact, these techniques can be used for so many good outcomes. Do you have any other visualizations that you use? Do share in the comments below ! 🙂

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Mind Matters

Reminder to Make Mental Health A Priority

by Roopa
written by Roopa

Today, October 10th, is World Mental Health Day

As important as building biceps, triceps and other muscles for physical health is the strengthening of another set of muscles that are crucial but not visible externally – the mental muscles for good mental health.

Mental health involves 3 words – think, feel and behave.

1. How we think and What we think

2. How we feel about life, ourselves & others, and

3. How we behave. 

According to the WHO, 1 in 8 people around the world live with poor mental health. This has a great impact on the person’s well-being affecting their physical health, connections/relationships with other people as well as their livelihoods. When a person is not mentally healthy, it negatively impacts all the members of that family.

A mentally healthy person is engaged with life in positive, enjoyable ways, is interested in all that goes on in it, understands her/his capabilities, can cope with the demands of everyday life, and works productively.

This does not mean that we must feel good all the time!

As humans, it is perfectly normal to feel and display a variety of feelings & emotions that lie on the opposite spectrum of happiness – sorrow, anger, frustration, anxiety, worry, fear, stress, and confusion. The moot point here is the manner in which we cope with our emotions in testing situations involving unpleasantness, losses, uncertainties and difficulties.  

Are we able to get back to normalcy and cheer in a reasonable amount of time or do we feel overwhelmed, helpless, miserable and struggle to enjoy anything at all? Are we able to find calm, peace and joy going through our days? Do we have big smiles and laughter on our faces often enough?

While mental health is connected to what goes on in our minds, poor mental health could be due to many reasons including physiological, biochemical, socio-economic and situational.

Indicators of poor mental health. 

Negativity, feeling low often, feeling stressed, overwhelmed, unable to cope with every day issues, high anxiety, constant worry, loss of purpose, unreasonable anger, aggression, feelings of loneliness, constant sadness, indifference to one’s hygiene and physical appearance, withdrawal, persistent exhaustion – all these are indicators of poor mental health. 

Signs of good mental health

Cheerfulness, optimism, feeling good about oneself, being engaged with the world and the people in it, feeling energetic, being self-aware of thoughts, emotions and able to manage them well, being adaptable & accepting of the situations and people around us are some indicators of good mental health.

Life is a blessing

We are meant to live joyfully, smilingly…savouring our moments on this beautiful planet. We are blessed if we can do this. However, it is alright if we cannot be this way on our own and need help to get some perspective, balance, and joy into our lives.

There are many simple practises we can follow and good habits we can develop to make us mentally stronger and capable of being calm and centered.  

Here are some suggestions to boost mental well-being.

It is a personal journey, hence you, me, everyone… needs to find our own ways and learn to:

Take it easy & quieten the mind 

Develop self-love and value ourselves 

Take care of our bodies/ physical health 

Build and nurture social connections/ have nice relationships, and be close with friends and family. 

Grab opportunities to smile and laugh 

Talk to people, share emotions and concerns openly

Understand, accept and manage our feelings 

Work on reaction vs response and build awareness of unhelpful thoughts

Make oneself a priority and believe strongly that we deserve to live our best  

Practice coping mechanisms to deal with stress 

Be content and grateful 

Show respect to our body by eating healthy 

Connect with nature 

Cultivate and enjoy hobbies 

Sleep deeply and adequately 

Develop new skills through curiosity 

Practise kindness, be of service and give in any way 

Be mindful and present 

Accept all that cannot be changed and move on 

Letting go and break the thoughts that imprison us

Seek professional help unhesitatingly sooner rather than later.

In these times of war, turmoil, suffering and tension between people, countries, states and communities, it is even more important that friends and families understand, support and help one another.

I know for sure that positive actions like having a kind word, a smile, a compliment, being caring, giving and just sharing thoughts can make a lot of difference to the well—being and mental state of people around us!

Do share your thoughts on this post !

What is your top bounce-back tip to recover from feeling low, anxious or stressed?   Write in the comments below!

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Top Youthful Living TipsWellness

8 simple ways to maintain the discipline to workout everyday

by Roopa
written by Roopa

I can truthfully say that I workout every single day and have done so for more than 2 decades now. I love that I have the discipline to do this 🙂 ! No one need tell me to go workout, nor do I ever feel lazy to go run or do the planned training session for the day. In fact I enjoy my workouts thoroughly, they’re so much fun! Workout time is the BEST part of my day 🙂.

I might be in a minority that really enjoys their workouts but I have analyzed what makes it so good for me, and what works for me. Maybe a few points will resonate with you as well – pick and stick with whichever connects with you !

My top tips to forge discipline!

Most importantly, discipline is a mind set. It is a promise you make and keep, for your own self. It starts in your head, solidifies in your will power & determination and blossoms through your consistency. Remember – You need to Exercise your Will Power first to see any results in your body!

The loop is a simple one :

Intention >>> Motivation >>>>Discipline >>>>Outcome.

Most people intend to work out, intend to go jogging or walking, intend to get fitter & healthier, intend to ….well, do so many things. But they struggle with being disciplined and committed. Hence stay where they are and do not see any results.

Indeed, this applies to every aspect of life, doesn’t it? ! 🙂

Sharing my top 8 tips that will help anyone who wants to Forge Fitness Discipline to workout regularly and consistently, whatever the fitness levels and wellness goals might be! Exercise is essential for our bodies, no matter what age we are at if we wish to lead a high quality life.

ONE – Build an awesome, strong, positive self-image that you love.

This can be the MOST important way to motivate yourself. This is the top thing that works for me. I know I want to look a certain way, wear a certain fit of clothes, have a certain physique. No compromise on this one!

You deserve to care about how you look and the image you want to project. Neglecting yourself is a sign of low self-regard. Taking care of yourself is an act of self-love.

Your image should be very strong in your mind. Keep that pic on your phone, print it out in your mind, put it where you can see it. If you are happy the way you are now, then just make the mirror your friend 🙂 Use an old photo of yours to remind yourself of how you used to be if your body has changed a lot now.

Look at that image of yourself everyday till you actually become it again. That image should drive your habits – both the fitness habit AND your eating habits. This image should ideally be a combination of how you want to look as well as how you want to feel. For example, I want to look trim and toned + I want to feel light and energetic, & be flexible in my movements.

TWO – Connect your workout to someone of great value & joy to you, whom you do not want to see hurt.

Make a strong connection with someone that is of great importance to you, someone that cares strongly for you as well, someone you cannot afford to hurt or disappoint, someone that you are responsible for, someone you cannot do without.

The strongest and best connection is usually with your family – your wife, kids, parents, partner or any loved one, maybe even your pet that is dependent on you. The resolve you make firmly in your mind is – IF I do not take care of myself (because of lack of discipline) and fall sick, my wife, my kids, my pet, my parents, my husband will be distraught.

Show that you care for your family and loved ones. Your discipline shows that you care about your family. You cannot put them into difficulty by falling sick or being unhealthy through negligence.

Once you recognise how important a ‘healthy you’ is to your loved ones, the thought of causing them worry and anxiety if you fall sick should keep you on track with your fitness habits.

THREE – Make a strong connection with any activity that you enjoy.

My fitness goal is not to run a marathon, or even half a marathon! Actually, I aim to be fit enough to do the activities I love best – trekking and traveling. I do a combination of running (5-10k), aerobics, strength training, HIIT, yoga and a host of other workouts that enable me to enjoy nature, mountains, rivers, streams and waterfalls! You have to be able to go deep into forests on uneven terrain, climb boulders and hills, cross rivers to see and enjoy all these. They are not available for close viewing from a car on the highway 🙂 ! Therefore, a certain level of fitness is required.

Maybe you used to enjoy playing some sport and that is something you want to start again. Start a fitness program that will enable you to enjoy your favorite activities again! Make it the best kind of fun – do whatever workouts you like and take it forward from there to pursue what you like doing. Remember that our bodies have a supreme intelligence and will respond according to how we treat it !

FOUR – Set clear goals – Be outcome-oriented – Make a schedule and STICK to it.

PUTTING DISCIPLINE INTO PRACTISE ! This may be the most important detail for workout clarity and consistency.

Let me break this down into simple steps. These might seem like a lot but hang in there, and you will see that these steps are easy to use and implement.

  1. GOAL SETTING – Be clear what you wish to achieve from the time you give to the workouts. Do you want to be able to walk quicker, climb stairs easily, run faster, build muscle, get more flexible, be stronger overall, get a toned look, be healthier? Or all of these perhaps?! Decide.
  2. PRIORITISE – Make it a priority to achieve these goals.
  3. PLANNING – Plan your workout, schedule it, break it into bits and just do it consistently, every single day. Stick to this schedule like glue. Use a timer/app to monitor and record your workout.
  4. SPLIT WORKOUTS – Split every workout into smaller timetables/routines. Get into details. Plan at least for 2-3 days ahead. There’s a sample timetable in the illustration above.
  5. YOUTUBE – Use YouTube videos to work along with. There are millions of high quality, excellent, free workout videos that you can just follow. I use them 3-4 times a week and have a list of my favourites!
  6. MAKE CHANGES – Make the necessary changes required in your bedtime and waking times. Do not say I will wake up at 4 am and do an hour of exercise when your usual waking time is never before 7 am. Be honest with what is possible and doable.
  7. CELEBRATE RESULTS – As you get stronger and see results, which you definitely will if you stick to your workout schedule, feel proud of what you are doing and then… challenge yourself. Increase the duration of workouts and/or the intensity.
  8. BOOST ENERGY LEVELS – Are you into music? Use this time to listen to whatever boosts your energy. Are you into podcasts ? Then listen to those if you wish to when you workout. Personally, I do immersive workouts, where I only focus on my breath as I workout or run. It is great therapy, because it is just like meditation! Ensure you are hydrated throughout the workout.

FIVE – Hire a Boss! Get a Trainer – your Personal Guiding Light.

Get a Boss! You are worth a trainer, get one! Be accountable to him/her. Let them direct you. It really works. Surrender yourself to them for whatever time you can spare. You will be amazed at where you can reach.

The Transformative Role of a Fitness Trainer –

A trainer can make a great deal of difference in many ways to your exercise routine and in turn to your health.

You will be hiring someone who is a specialist in this field to guide you, train you and motivate you to reach your goals in the exact way that will work for you. Even 2 sessions a week with a good trainer will transform you.

Whether you want to hire a fitness trainer or a yoga teacher just for you or for a group of friends and family that can work out together, he/she will be worth your money and time. You can maximize your results and see visible changes.

SIX – Lose your money for indiscipline ! Fitness Motivation Through Fear of Loss.

Do you like your money and are reluctant to give it away just like that ? This may be an unconventional way to make things work but then, if it works for you, well, that is good ! 🙂

Harnessing Loss Aversion –You can payout a certain sum of money to your kid, spouse, neighbour or neighbor’s kid everyday that you break the rule and miss a workout. Rope in your friends in this deal. The pain of seeing them get richer may just keep you alert and disciplined! 🙂

SEVEN – Focus on threat/risks of inaction vs benefits of action

Being obese, inactive and out of shape has high health risks. The threat or risks of an inactive life far outweigh the supposed effort required to work out. It is best to take action NOW and see results in a reasonable time. Use the threat of diseases, immobility and a dependent life to spur you into action.

Your goal should reflect the immediate future. Say – “I want to : get into a smaller size shirt in 2 months’ time, see a 3 inch waist loss in 3 months, have better, deeper sleep, feel energetic and fresh everyday. I want to look trim in a fitting jacket. I want to be able to jump and skip in 8 weeks’ time” This is better than a goal that reads – “I do not want to have a heart attack after 20 years”. Turn threats into fitness triumphs, take action NOW!

EIGHT – Think FUN – start small – create the ‘my body active everyday!’ habit.

Do some small activities that move your body everyday – it could be anything at all. Dancing, playing a game of badminton, throwing a frisbee around with your family or friends, working in the garden, biking, jumping rope, walking your pet, etc. Focus on the fun bit and makes sure you get your dose of fun everyday ! This is nothing but fitness progress though you may not think of it as such.

What keeps YOU in a ‘body active’ mode? What is your discipline mantra? Which one of the tips above would you pick to work for you?

Share your thoughts in the comments section below !

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